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Here is a post I had on my website blog. 

Ok. Here’s my heart on a platter. One of my biggest dreams ever has been to do something with horses and children. I have been crazy about horses for as long as I can remember. I practically was a horse when I was a kid, every single pair of jeans I owned had holes in the knees from all my galloping around on the ground. I would even hook myself up to a wagon and pretend to pull it though the yard. My bike got groomed and fed regularly and I loved trying to jump ditches on it.

As I got older I read every horse related book I could find and had posters totally covering my walls (and this is for Blake, I named them all!) I day dreamed constantly and one of my favorite things to do on long car rides was to gaze out the window imagining I was riding a horse that was running along the road we were travelling on jumping ditches and fences to keep up. I would do this for hours. I could spot a horse farm or a horse pasture a mile away and anytime I saw a nice white fence that had no horses in it I always thought, “what a waste of a good fence!”

Well, ok, I was obsessed, a little. " class="wp-smiley"> I never owned my own horse but I got involved with 4-H. They had a class called Horseless Horsemanship. I was able to take some riding lessons at the local university farm and meet some horse people. I ended up actually taking care of a horse on loan for a lady. A pretty Arabian brood mare (a female horse used mainly for breeding purposes) named Chevy T Nezzrella, Nizzzy for short. That was such an awesome experience and I met some really neat people.

For our church summer kids program I was able to teach a beginners horsemanship class using Nizzy. This was probably my first experience of standing in front of a group of people (young people) and teaching. I loved it! A lot of confidence and growth began in me that summer. By that time I had come to see that my love of horses had become an idol in my life and for a time I tried very hard to give it up (sacrifice it). I tore down my posters and coscentrated on loving God and getting to know Him better. I started to ask God what He wanted for my life and how this love of horses could be used to further His kingdom. My experience with the children’s class cemented in me that God could use horses to bring people closer to Him. I started growing up, I graduated highschool, started Bible College, met my husband to be, graduated from Bible college, got married, and now have 4 children, a dog, and a cat. My horse dreams have been on a back burner simmering for about 10 years. This last Christmas those dreams were stirred up.

My dad gave me a book for Christmas, Hope Rising by Kim Meeder. It made me cry to know that my dad remembered my dreams too. The book was about a lady who started a youth ranch in Oregon. It began when she rescued some abused and neglected horses and paired them with troubled children, miracles began to happen, lives were changed and hearts mended. I was very inspired. Several months later I was visiting with a fellow homeschooling mom who lives here in Edina. During our visit she began to tell me about this book her dad had read that had to do with a horse ranch. It was the same book! She and her dad wanted to look into what it would take to start something like it in our area. They actually flew out to Oregon and attended a clinic at the ranch. My friend, Martha, is now working toward starting a similar ranch here in Northeast Missouri. Martha contacted me this week to ask me if I would like to travel to Kansas City to visit another simalar horse ranch this weekend. Wow, I would absolutely love to go with her! I don’t know if I will be able to or not, Matt and I are still talking, but I told Martha that if at all possible I would love to be involved. Here are links to the Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in Oregon and to the Returning Glory Ranch in Kansas City. Check them out. This is something I would love to somehow be a part of, working with horses and children. We’ll see.

"If It Wasn't For The Night" by David Wilcox

If it wasn't for the night
So cold this time of year
The stars would never shine so bright
So beautiful and clear

I have walked this road alone
My thin coat against the chill
When the light in me was gone
And my winter house was stilled

When I grieved for all I'd made
Out of all I had to give
On the eve of Christmas day
With no reason left to live

Even then somehow in the bitter wind and cold
Impossibly strong I know
Even then a bloom as tender as a rose
Was breaking through the snow
In the dark night of the soul
In the dark night of the soul

If it wasn't for the babe
Lying helpless on the straw
There would be no Christmas day
And the night would just go on

When it seems that death has won
Buried deep beneath the snow
Where the summer leaves have gone
The seed of hope will grow


"Into the Mystery"  by David Wilcox

Case closed.  I was certain in my youth
God knows, I had my scientific proof
In my mind, I thought I saw the truth
Never looked beyond my lenses; never saw that it was you

Out of the question
So the answer I could never see
Out of the question
I look for you and you find me
Out of the question you're closer than the air I breathe
But out of the question
And into the mystery

My heart - brings me to my knees
There's God:  the forest for the trees
Move me, like the wind will stir the leaves
I give way to the mystery like the branches in the breeze and I'm

Out of the question
Catch the wind inside my fist?  No it's
Out of the question
Try to trap you and I know I've missed
Out of the question
The place you will always be, is
Out of the question
And into the mystery

Truth is there for finding, but the logic that's involved
is a mystery unwinding, not a problem to be solved

Out of the question
I look for You, and You find me
Out of the question
In truth you will always be
Out of the question
You're closer than the air I breathe
Out of the question... and into the mystery!